"Rakhi Sawant to contest from BSP in Utter Pradesh's assembly polls"

It was announced after a secret meeting between Rakhi Sawant' manager( yes! she has a manager) and Mayawati's PR team that the bold girl be given a ticket to contest in the next year's assembly polls. The decision was unanimously accepted by those present and Rakhi Sawant was informed of the decision over phone.

Rakhi hadn't been coming up with a novel publicity stunt. She had applied and exhausted all the tricks from her kitty ranging from 'Mika-smooching' to 'Elesh-fooling' and in the journey, she had earned quite a moolah. It was when her manager (sachi! she has one) informed her of an opportunity in UP elections. 

UP has a woman Chief Minister and that catapulted Rakhi's chances of grabbing a ticket. Mayawati was very happy to get services from the sleaze-ridden girl and she, in order to encourage Rakhi's moral to win, told her over the phone, "And may be Rakhi behen, you might be the subsidiary lady beside my statue in hundreds of parks in UP. After that, you won't need any more publicity stunts."

There were definitely some hiccups but they were individually removed as a part of the process. First, whether or not to portray Rakhi's cleavage on the party's posters, which had a solution that since young dalits would droolingly come and vote, senior dalits may object and thus, posters with cleavages would be pasted in the areas, corners and shady-parks where the youth are a majority. It was also a solution that dalit-oldies, who have poor sight, may take the bulky breast of Rakhi as-what else?--the Elephanta, with slightly fair skin."

Secondly, if in case Rakhi wins and the situation to put her statue arises, where would come the terribly extra quantities of mortar, cement and mosaic to make her larger-than-Manmohan's-pagdi lips and Hathi-bottomed busty breasts. But there was someone who had the solution: 'The cement for clothes could be used as a replacement for lips and breast. She can be given a bikini in the statue. When crafted, it won't be much visible to be notified in detail."

When the issue came that Rakhi could possibly be taken as a symbol of marriage-less figure who nobody wants to marry and thus would undermine the concept of over-population in UP. But it was well addressed by someone, "No, not at all. In fact, it adds credibility to Maya's celibacy as well. It could pass hints that Mayawati, too, might have done such a show in her thirties where she was betrayed by Elesh-like chap from Lucknow (if not Canada), and after which she was bhehenji for ever. So everything fits."

There are also rumors that Mika could also be asked to campaign in exchange for petrol for his Hummer, as Rakhi is expected to go on domestic violence theme in her run-up. Mika could be asked to throw an apology for his forcible kisses to Rakhi Sawant, during his rooting for Rakhi in the elections next year. "'The swollen face and haunting smile of Rakhi coalesce well with the victim of domestic violence. So, Bingo!", said Rakhi's manager (Kasam khata hoon!) to Maya's PR team.

The meeting was held very secretively as the details of the set-up was much prone to have a 'leak' to Julian Assange's all-pervasive network.