England's scheme to field 'Monty Panesar' in place of 'Bhajji' foiled.

So, they thought they could replicate the sprightful Sardar. Ehh? No way. After a string of defeats in India, when ECB was mulling the options back in London to turn the tide, there was Monty Panesar in the vicinity who had come to collect his pension cheque from the England Board, who provided the solution.

Panesar easily convinced ECB to play the trickery to duplicate the Royal Stag endorser Harbhajan Singh in the very next match the spinner was to play for India. A three member kidnapping team had been commissioned by ECB to catch the excited Sardar and to hold him somewhere till the match was bracketed by England team. Panesar, disguised as Bhajji (the incident to go inside books of history as 'the fraud of Monty Bhajjessar') was expected to throw the match by letting the English players slog his deliveries at the tip-of-their-bats. 

The kidnapping team was found to be well equipped with good whiskey IrishLove(far-far-superior to RS in taste and drift), and which would have taken care of the inebriation of Bhajji. After the trance, he was to be taken into the washroom where he was expected to forcefully sit on the English(sic) toilet-seat till the Bhajjessar was ruthlessly thrashed on the field to pave way for England's victory.

Panesar was fully confident to pull up the fakery and had trimmed his bear according to the contours of Bhajji's face. The Patki was not to be let loose instead tied primly around the hair-flower at the center of the head. Panesar had been practicing the 'feigning aggression' and other Bhajjish things (nail biting, not seeing the ball traversing boundaries and also, if it would have inadvertently occurred, the precision of beating air with elbow swings at the rare wicket-taking phenomena). 

The failure: The tragic failure occurred when Panesar, in order to know the taste of RS, had gulped a lid-full of whiskey. The whiskey, as it is known for, troubled the meek stomach of the English Sardarman and roiled his insides. He was madly seen scratchibg his hair(head, beard and groin) in the frenzy and the three members of the kidnapping squad were seen dealing with him to bring him normal. With no replacement for Bhajji available, the plot was foisted.

It was very strange that no body from India had cared to look for Bhajji till the match ended. Either he was not expected to join at the field in the first place, or probably, he himself was known for such misadventures with RS swigs. Anyways, whatever laid in that, but there was a formal assurance from ECB that they had abolished the pension plans for poor Panesar, who is expected to reach Ludhiana to conjure up some old ties to gather money for his return ticket.