Hello Steve,
I am fully convinced that you might have reached the ascribed Heavenly slot after your demise which was a moment of glumness for the entire world community. And nothing bars my vision to apply the surmise that the only place in the Aden would have been the shade of that proud 'Apple' tree, thus returning to it the forbidden apple that the dumb Eve had chomped off.
You were a celebrity by all measures but I must tell you, after your sudden fell, we in India had felt such a twang in the collective national heart that nobody, out of respect and solidarity, ate even a single apple for two weeks. This salient measure largely helped to bring down the demon of inflation from its perch because there was no demand for fruits as Blackberry users had announced their own plan to renounce berries at the same time. The fruit market was bombed with supply and thus the effect caused the horticulture production to be stayed bringing down the inflating figures.
Steve, how to tell you, but we miss you, yar. You didn't like India or as the media reports, but we don't care. Even 3/4ths of us don't like it either. But a political paradigm that was observable was that suddenly everybody started loving the Kashmir Valley. The reason, which looked inexplicable turned out to be very simple at the end. Kashmir is a den for the apple cultivation and India Tv regularly reported that it was Steve, who had been secretly supplying revenues in to valley to enhance the production and I know very well, that when Chumma Sharma, the IndiaTv anchor said those lines she was cent percent true to the grain of her employers: "Steve knew that poor Indians could not have afforded the designed 'Apples' and thus, instead of those, he benevolently supported the supply of 'Natural apples'.
Thus all the news declaiming your loath towards India were to gimmick into encouraging people to buy Blackberries and Nokias. We will be more proud of all your efforts when the truth would be brought out by the plea of Subramaniam Swami in the Supreme Court, only if Ramjethmalani, out of habit, doesn't become the public prosecutor against it. He, that old man who would never die unless of course declared to be doomed by the Supreme Court in some case, would never want any favors to be conferred to the Valley.
Steve, you have helped in many ways the students of our nation. First, obviously is the presence of 'Jobs' in your name that appeals to all the sections of students ranging from Engineering to Literature, and spanning every sorts of institutions from elite IITs to tatty IIPM. Then students have a role model to shout at the interviewers and also, to make assignments on leadership and advancements in tech and design. The IPads would run the parliament now when the proud owners, the MPs blush to shutterbugs with the devices smothered in their filthy arm-pits.
Though Shahrukh, who is an actor in the Hindi Cinema, and who would have definitely roped you in his movie Ra.One to publicize it to the gullets of the people, he can't do that now, sadly. An average movie buff would tell you that this could be the only reason one may feel to be happy about your demise. He, the ageing actor, would have made you look like a foolish robot or something that would have duped the audience about your intelligence.
Steve, I just wish that you enjoy the ambience there. But a couple of things I must warn you about. You would be hauled up by some corrupt officials who may be from Hell or somehow sneaked into Heavenly boundaries and who would try to persuade that goofy Dharamraj in registering your reincarnation into India. Not that I don't want you to born in my big-hearted India but only to put the matters straight, you would be regarded as a 'dumbo' 'Padhaku Chutia' or what not. And the shoddy technology won't let you find a place anywhere. Chinese mall will put you off. So better stay away or if you still insist, you must come here as a cricketer. Only that would do true justice to the acclamation you deserve.
Bye Steve.
Enjoy your apples.
With Love,
An Indian.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Monday, 24 October 2011
India will be, only if the youth want it to be.
It is a vibrant face for three powerhouses of Inida: Politics, Media and Youth. I have deliberately set aside the conventional Judiciary, which is doing its duty quite diligently despite the ho-ha of several finger-pointing on the attitude, character and impartiality of the judges. But given the number of pending cases and the cruelling figures of jurists shortfall, the credit must fall into the latter's lap to have sustained the belief the general masses with their prudent judgements in the recently sculpted scandals, and not to forget the wise, sematic judgement of Ayodhya dispute.
What really wrenches a common man is the stolid and venal polity, the sentimental, sensitive and unbridled media and most-importantly the indifferent youth. Media, if seen in the light of recent history, had taken up a very dangerous stand to be the scribes of history books. Particularly the Anna case when the media had been effortlessly playing the judgement analysis role on behalf of the commoners and in their muck, unfounded approach had opinionated the (should be) backing of Anna Hazare. Whoever emerged with an argument or even a varied opinion was slashed as participator in corruption. Sadly, the media, instead of highlighting such issues (quite important when the whole nation is listening, and the status-quo is opportunistic for media in a positive sense) as the importance of a considerate opinion of both parties privy at that time (Team Anna and the UPA) took gluey stand for Mr. Anna. Nobody realized the helplessness of the book of Constitution which, so enshrined by the wisdom of law-makers of post-independence era, unarguably, provides much more than what was trivialized by the media analysis. The clauses related to parliamentary-democracy were given a two hoot rejection. The emotional Somnath Chatterjee, whose appeal to preserve faith in the Constitution was seen as an old fogy romantacized by the glitter of the Book.
Next, the polity has a role to play, more eagerly, earnestly and competitively than ever. They have chosen to be public servants and can't look the other way when the public demand answers. They can't play hysterics and bash the naivete of masses instead should have used the stale mate as an opportunity to prove its worth, when like the whole nation, immured as one gigantic Eye-ball was sticking to television screen. How much they had hoped from the campaign against corruption. All the rest aside, if really the polticians want to disprove the allegations of their slackness and 'cartel attitude', they must come true on their promises. The nation, benevelent and benign ever, have given them ample time to dust their carpets and to come up with a working Lokpal. I must adhere (and extremely important it is !) to the point that they should not bow down to the team Anna, whose Jan-Lokpal is not a practical solution and thus unfeasable, but must chalk out the architecture of the bill in the sheer brilliance like their forefathers had done and earned the right to be called as "wisdom-pearls" by the anonymous mouthpieces of the world democracies.
And you Youth! You must set your house in order. I must accolade you for your unqualified support for Anna campaign, without which the issue would not have shaken the dormant system of Government functionaries. But, inadvertently, the failure of the campaign would be a failure for the youth of the country. The movement was synonymous with the ambition and attitude of the youth of the nation. With that, and despite that, too, there comes an important duty to understand. It is bid time that you are aware of the broil in India. Stick not to conventional aspirations of religious bigotry (by not letting the seeds of Communalism be sown again), discern the media (by an intelligent sifting of ideas from good journalists and spokesperson) and at the same point use channels like IndiaTv for pure, titillating and guffawing source of entertainment-not a jot high or less than that. Be argumentative (ask questions of 'Why' more), use your important rights like right to speech, dissent, participate, choice very very wisely because there is a heavy duty responsibility shrouded by the glittering appeal of all these rights. Just to exemplify- free speech doesn't mean to be visceral and rip everybody instead use it as a weapon against the injustice, truth-nippers; in a crux, create ideas and solutions and present them via the right. The power awaits you, to be assumed and used judiciously.
India, on the verge of a change, should be interest of everybody. It appeals to you all to let it be. It demands of you to stand up for her, to nurse her out of the clawing forces of disruption. She will be cheerful but you must play a homor to her, a music of prudence, wisdom; a drama of festivities. Continue, but first start, to participate in the whorl winds of Ideas, Aspirations and Rationality which would bring back the sanctity and respect of MotherIndia. Jai Hind.
What really wrenches a common man is the stolid and venal polity, the sentimental, sensitive and unbridled media and most-importantly the indifferent youth. Media, if seen in the light of recent history, had taken up a very dangerous stand to be the scribes of history books. Particularly the Anna case when the media had been effortlessly playing the judgement analysis role on behalf of the commoners and in their muck, unfounded approach had opinionated the (should be) backing of Anna Hazare. Whoever emerged with an argument or even a varied opinion was slashed as participator in corruption. Sadly, the media, instead of highlighting such issues (quite important when the whole nation is listening, and the status-quo is opportunistic for media in a positive sense) as the importance of a considerate opinion of both parties privy at that time (Team Anna and the UPA) took gluey stand for Mr. Anna. Nobody realized the helplessness of the book of Constitution which, so enshrined by the wisdom of law-makers of post-independence era, unarguably, provides much more than what was trivialized by the media analysis. The clauses related to parliamentary-democracy were given a two hoot rejection. The emotional Somnath Chatterjee, whose appeal to preserve faith in the Constitution was seen as an old fogy romantacized by the glitter of the Book.
Next, the polity has a role to play, more eagerly, earnestly and competitively than ever. They have chosen to be public servants and can't look the other way when the public demand answers. They can't play hysterics and bash the naivete of masses instead should have used the stale mate as an opportunity to prove its worth, when like the whole nation, immured as one gigantic Eye-ball was sticking to television screen. How much they had hoped from the campaign against corruption. All the rest aside, if really the polticians want to disprove the allegations of their slackness and 'cartel attitude', they must come true on their promises. The nation, benevelent and benign ever, have given them ample time to dust their carpets and to come up with a working Lokpal. I must adhere (and extremely important it is !) to the point that they should not bow down to the team Anna, whose Jan-Lokpal is not a practical solution and thus unfeasable, but must chalk out the architecture of the bill in the sheer brilliance like their forefathers had done and earned the right to be called as "wisdom-pearls" by the anonymous mouthpieces of the world democracies.
And you Youth! You must set your house in order. I must accolade you for your unqualified support for Anna campaign, without which the issue would not have shaken the dormant system of Government functionaries. But, inadvertently, the failure of the campaign would be a failure for the youth of the country. The movement was synonymous with the ambition and attitude of the youth of the nation. With that, and despite that, too, there comes an important duty to understand. It is bid time that you are aware of the broil in India. Stick not to conventional aspirations of religious bigotry (by not letting the seeds of Communalism be sown again), discern the media (by an intelligent sifting of ideas from good journalists and spokesperson) and at the same point use channels like IndiaTv for pure, titillating and guffawing source of entertainment-not a jot high or less than that. Be argumentative (ask questions of 'Why' more), use your important rights like right to speech, dissent, participate, choice very very wisely because there is a heavy duty responsibility shrouded by the glittering appeal of all these rights. Just to exemplify- free speech doesn't mean to be visceral and rip everybody instead use it as a weapon against the injustice, truth-nippers; in a crux, create ideas and solutions and present them via the right. The power awaits you, to be assumed and used judiciously.
India, on the verge of a change, should be interest of everybody. It appeals to you all to let it be. It demands of you to stand up for her, to nurse her out of the clawing forces of disruption. She will be cheerful but you must play a homor to her, a music of prudence, wisdom; a drama of festivities. Continue, but first start, to participate in the whorl winds of Ideas, Aspirations and Rationality which would bring back the sanctity and respect of MotherIndia. Jai Hind.
England's scheme to field 'Monty Panesar' in place of 'Bhajji' foiled.
So, they thought they could replicate the sprightful Sardar. Ehh? No way. After a string of defeats in India, when ECB was mulling the options back in London to turn the tide, there was Monty Panesar in the vicinity who had come to collect his pension cheque from the England Board, who provided the solution.
Panesar easily convinced ECB to play the trickery to duplicate the Royal Stag endorser Harbhajan Singh in the very next match the spinner was to play for India. A three member kidnapping team had been commissioned by ECB to catch the excited Sardar and to hold him somewhere till the match was bracketed by England team. Panesar, disguised as Bhajji (the incident to go inside books of history as 'the fraud of Monty Bhajjessar') was expected to throw the match by letting the English players slog his deliveries at the tip-of-their-bats.
The kidnapping team was found to be well equipped with good whiskey IrishLove(far-far-superior to RS in taste and drift), and which would have taken care of the inebriation of Bhajji. After the trance, he was to be taken into the washroom where he was expected to forcefully sit on the English(sic) toilet-seat till the Bhajjessar was ruthlessly thrashed on the field to pave way for England's victory.
Panesar was fully confident to pull up the fakery and had trimmed his bear according to the contours of Bhajji's face. The Patki was not to be let loose instead tied primly around the hair-flower at the center of the head. Panesar had been practicing the 'feigning aggression' and other Bhajjish things (nail biting, not seeing the ball traversing boundaries and also, if it would have inadvertently occurred, the precision of beating air with elbow swings at the rare wicket-taking phenomena).
The failure: The tragic failure occurred when Panesar, in order to know the taste of RS, had gulped a lid-full of whiskey. The whiskey, as it is known for, troubled the meek stomach of the English Sardarman and roiled his insides. He was madly seen scratchibg his hair(head, beard and groin) in the frenzy and the three members of the kidnapping squad were seen dealing with him to bring him normal. With no replacement for Bhajji available, the plot was foisted.
It was very strange that no body from India had cared to look for Bhajji till the match ended. Either he was not expected to join at the field in the first place, or probably, he himself was known for such misadventures with RS swigs. Anyways, whatever laid in that, but there was a formal assurance from ECB that they had abolished the pension plans for poor Panesar, who is expected to reach Ludhiana to conjure up some old ties to gather money for his return ticket.
Sachin to replace Shahrukh in his next flick Ra.One
The man has done it. There is no match with Shahrukh when it comes to garner publicity for his movie. Shahrukh has decided to totally recuse himself of any participation in the much hyped movie Ra.One.
FDTV was specially summoned at the event for the announcement and since there was a much-hyped buzz in the media circles about the disclosure of something much-hyped byte related to his upcoming movie, we decided not to miss the much-hypeness.
And when the news were revealed, even we felt a few shudders in our bodies. The man has employed the much-hyped 3-D technologist from China-land known as ChoonChan, to do a make-over of his own face to resemble the demi-god Sachin Tendulkar. Shahrukh appeared to be very excited after watching his heaps of money to generate the results he had desired, though confessing that the groovy lines and loose skin was posing some problems for ChoonChan at the beginning to be replaced with taut Sachin pseudo-skin, but ChoonChan turned out to be real tech-genious.
"Now," explained the hyped-Khan, "you would see Sachin in the lead role. Isn't that great." When asked about his decision as to what made him do such changes, he grinned and happily boasted that Sachin has more fan following than anybody in India and to watch him in a new avatar, people would tore their spouses to see the movie.
When FDTV reflected his decision, we appeared to gradually be convinced about that. ChoonChan cost Shahrukh just 25 crores, and given that Sachin will lead the movie, even if fifty percent of his billion fans turned out in the theatres and spend, on an average, fifty bucks on one ticket, the profits would be difficult to fit the limited banks. Just to prick the elegant Khan, when FDTV asked Shahrukh what would be the next replacement after having used this 'fake-Sachin' option, he was quick to draw a nip from his sense of humor "Have you heard of something called 'Dhoni' " and we knew there were no end of options for the intelligent Khan.
When we tried to contact with Sachin Tendulkar, he was not available but his wife Anjali and two children seemed to be excited about the option. Bright-eyed Anjali didn't fail to remark "I have been telling him that he was a born God, and Gods can do anything." FDTV congratulated them, heavily, when they served us sumptuous dishes to eat
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